13-year-old fears assault

I’m a fairly tall girl, I recently had my 13th birthday. In the past two years, I’ve been looked at, stared at, hit on, whistled at and had cars/trucks honk at me. It’s slowly becoming more frequent and I’m sometimes scared what else is going to happen.

I’m only just a teenager, I’m in year 8. I’m scared one day a man is going to grab me and I’ll be too young and weak to fight him off, then all I could do is scream… I wish there was a better way to get this across to all the men in the world…

– Anonymous

Location: Central London

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8 Responses to 13-year-old fears assault

  1. Andy says:

    Wow, sorry to hear that. As a guy, I know it can be challenging to treat women with respect.

    For a while I thought it was a compliment to women, to give them that sort of attention.

    But I know now that what different women consider a compliment is… of course… different, depending on the women, and it is definitely not OK to assume they like being whistled at, etc.

    Plus, for any guys reading this: Whistling at a women is probably not going to get her to like you!!!

    If you want to meet women AND be respectful, why not try Brad P’s materials, at http://bradp.com ? Just a thought…

    Be indirect with women. Don’t tell them you like them–or do any of that stupid catcalling stuff–unless they show a definite interest in you.

    If a woman makes strong eye contact with you, then YES, talk to her. If you want to.

    But keep a “permission-based” attitude. And always make sure you left her better than you found her, when it is within your power.

  2. anon says:

    In response to Andy’s reply/advice…
    I think it’s worth noting that this young lady is…well, young.
    She is not a woman – she’s a child. A few weeks ago, she was 12.
    So, your advice concerning how to treat women with respect and when it might be ok to approach a woman isn’t appropriate/suitable for this poster and her situation because….she’s a girl.
    In response to the young lady…
    From someone who also went through this at a very young age…keep safe.
    If you ever feel intimidated, move into an area with lots of people, tell someone, don’t be afraid to report it.
    Take care x

  3. The Girl who wrote this story says:

    It’s funny, after I wrote this, I went out, and a man whispered in my ear “sexy bitch.” This morning on the way to school, a royal mail honked to horn at me whilst the two middle-aged men waved and winked at me. I also noticed about 3 other men staring at my boobs (no, I had to cleavage showing, I was wearing a hoodie)…
    :s

    I think Andy makes a good point that if a woman is giving you strong flirty eye contact, then yes, she’s saying it’s okay to make a move. I just don’t like walking around feeling like a piece of meat…

  4. Sd says:

    In response to Andy’s reply/advice…
    I think it’s worth noting that this young lady is…well, young.
    She is not a woman – she’s a child. A few weeks ago, she was 12.
    So, your advice concerning how to treat women with respect and when it might be ok to approach a woman isn’t appropriate for this poster…in my opinion. She’s a girl.
    In response to the young lady…
    From someone who also went through this at a very young age…keep safe.
    If you ever feel intimidated, move into an area with lots of people, tell someone, don’t be afraid to report it.
    Take care x

  5. Kelly says:

    Do these men know that they are sexualising children?

    May I ask if you look your age?, not that it justifies or excuses any of that kind of behaviour. Its wrong to do it to anyone but to knowingly do the things you describe to a child. It seems that the sickos are getting even bolder, it means they are getting away with it without consequence.

  6. David Brooks says:

    So sorry to hear about this, Anonymous.

    If you were harrassed by Royal Mail staff maybe you should ask your parents to make a complaint. Tell them when & where it happened so the Royal Mail can work out who’s responsible.

    If members of their staff are sexually harrassing children, they will want to know about it.

  7. Niki S says:

    I’m this girl’s mother. To answer Kelly, she’s tall for her age (though not unduly) but very clearly a young teenage girl on her way to school. The majority of these men have to be aware that she is well below the age of consent. Bear in mind, she has been dealing with this since she was 11.

    David – that’s a good point about contacting the Royal mail. I’m going to ask her to keep a record, and we’ll take it from there.

    Her father is ready to follow her to school one day, with a hidden camera. Somehow I’m determined that these bastards who prey on very young girls will be exposed.

    My daughter is only just 13 but she’s already sick and tired of dealing with this crap. She’s also angry and determined to get involved in the campaign to fight it. She’s at an all girls’ school in Central London and is also encouraging her fellow students to get involved.

  8. David Brooks says:

    Glad to hear you’re fighting back Niki. Good luck!

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