Foul mouth on the train in Scotland and no one did anything

I was sitting on a train, minding my own business, when a young kid (age about 14/15) got on and sat on the luggage rack beside me.

He was quiet for a while but I knew he was looking at me, up and down, and I became a bit uncomfortable. He then started talking to me, I ignored him, and the words which came out of his mouth were foul. He said things like, “I wonder how soft your p* is” and things which were very very very sexually explicit. I was actually mortified and almost shaking.

There were people on the train, seats in front of me, two women, seat a few up, young healthy business-like men, and I am 100% sure they all heard him. No-one did anything. Not a single person stood up and told him to F Off.. so I endured what seemed like hours (but were in fact a few minutes) of total verbal abuse. I had it in my head that if he tried to touch me I’d stick my pen through his eyeball. But that wasn’t his game.

Eventually we pulled into a station and a guard – who had been sitting 8 seats away – stood up and put ‘the lad’ off the train, all nicey nicey, gently gently. I had no idea he was even there. It was a ‘come on now laddie.. off you go’… touchy feely thing and the boy just grinned..

The ‘guard’ never once spoke to me, never intervened, before, during or after – zilch. When I got off the train I was still shaking. I actually – at 9 am in the morning – walked into a shop and bought a bottle of wine and plastic cups, went into the toilets at work and poured myself a large glass.

I think you’re just not expecting to be assaulted so publically and for no-one to do anything about it. As this site says – I am someones sister, mother, aunty & girlfriend and if communities can’t or won’t do anything to protect their own, who will?

p.s. I was on my way to help with a charity which helps vulnerable adults in the community – sick isn’t it??

– AM

Location: Stirling Train, Scotland, United Kingdom

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6 Responses to Foul mouth on the train in Scotland and no one did anything

  1. Clare B says:

    This is a terrible story. I find it awful to hear that no-one intervened on your behalf. I know it is probably more hassle than it is worth in the long run for you, but you would be perfectly entitled to complain to the train service – especially about the guard. You were appallingly verbally assaulted and I am not surprised you were so shocked and so affected afterwards.

    I hope you feel better after your initial shock. Perhaps in future it might be helpful for you to have a practise phrase in your head that you know you could use (if, heaven forbid, you are ever in a similar situation again). Something like “I am not going to accept you talking to me like that. How would you feel if someone spoke to your mother like that?” It’s just an idea, something to make you feel more empowered for in the future. But I am certainly not suggesting you handled the situation wrongly – no one would expect to have to endure comments/a situation like that.

  2. Kelly says:

    I’m so sorry hendid that can believe the crap they pull. It’s so hard to speak out especially when you get no support or worse you get thought of as the crazy one, I hate that. These men need to be called out articulately preferably with an audience, what they need is some negative reinforcement. Sadly though some of these men could easily snap if anger so you have to pick your battles.

  3. SD says:

    Makes me so angry to read this, I feel so bad for you! It must have been so awful, especially if no-one helped you when they knew you were being harassed!

    I have also experienced countless incidents of harassment on trains by men (I’m not saying every man or it’s all men before anyone starts). I HATE IT so much. I remember one particular incident where a man, aged about 60, was sat on the seats in front of me on the train. He kept turning around, looking through the gap in the seats and licking his lips whilst staring at me. He did it every 30 seconds or so. I was terrified (I was travelling long distance back from work, it was late at night due to train delays and I stupidly decided to get the train rather than book myself into a hotel for the night). There was no-one around, I swear he could see how scared I was…but he still continued to do it. AAAAAH it makes me so mad! In fact, thinking back to it makes me feel so down 😦 x I don’t mind the odd look or smile or cheeky comment even……but scaring a woman, making them feel terrified is a different story. Hope you’re ok x

  4. Amelia says:

    I’m so sorry! It’s absolutely terrible that no one (especially the guard) dealt with the boy firmly as soon as it started, or supported you in any way. I hope all those people got off the train ashamed at themselves & determining to step in and do something next time they witness behaviour like that.

    On another note, it makes me really sad when I see young boys sexually harass girls & women (especially that really foul-mouthed & disrespectful 14-year-old boy).

    I remember walking past a 10-year-old boy last year (with his two older brothers) and noticing that the boy was staring at me funnily, it didn’t occur to me (until after the harassment started) that he was checking me out & anticipating the comments that he knew his older brothers would make as I walked past. He was young, but he was being well trained in how to totally sexualize & disrespect each woman he saw (and I was twice his age!) It made me sick to think of the way this pre-pubescent boy was being encouraged to think about women as merely sexual objects.

  5. deborah says:

    acredito que essa açao seja apenas o inicio de uma grande causa,nos mulheres temos que nos unir contra esses asedios e sempre lembrar que voce nao e um objeto que qualquer um possa se aposar,acredito tambem que esses asedios se nao forem confrontados desdes agora levem a uma violencia pior.abaixo os homens que nao nos respeitam!!!

  6. beckieweinheimer says:

    your story made me cry. I am so sorry this happened.

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