“Most of the time the men don’t say anything, they just try to touch me”

I hate it!!! I thought it was only my problem because I always get told “take it as a compliment, he thinks you are pretty.”

I was harassed so many times. Mostly in tram or bus.

I am a very shy person, I never go to clubs or bars or suspect dark streets. I am not beautiful, I don’t wear sexy clothes, I only wear skirts in hot summer ( they cover my knees) and then I always get honked or yelled at out of cars.

But most of the time the men don’t say anything, they just try to touch me.

One day in tram I was sitting on a doubleseat and all the other doubleseats and most of the singleseats were free (there were only 3 people in the tram) a man came in and sat next to me on the other seat of my doubleseat. He came so close, he almost lay on my lap and leaned on me. I was stuck between him and the window. He read a big newspaper and every time he turned a page he tried to touch my breast. I was intimidated and wanted to cry and couldn’t move. On my station I asked him to let me out but he didn’t. So I had to climb over his lap/legs.

One day I was shopping and a guy followed me 45 minutes saying, “I love you… I love you… I love you…” I tried to ignore him and run through the stores but he didn’t disappear. It was getting dark and I was afraid to go home because I thought he’d follow me.

One day I was waiting in line. Behind me some boys (14 years old I think). They were laughing dirty at me and then they touched my ass. Everyone, one after the other. I told them to stop about 5 times. They kept on touching and laughing. I felt so helpless. They stopped when I kicked one of them in the balls.

One day while I was waiting for the bus a man tried to touch my breast getting his hand under my shirt!!!

One day I was in tram (of course) with my girls. The guy had his hand in his pocket and… Staring at us all the time. An older lady shouted at him but he didnt react he kept on staring at us and masturbating.

One day in tram (where else) a guy came and sat vis-a-vis. He tried to look into my eyes and I tried to look away. He wanted to force me to look into his eyes!!! Then he started to rub his legs on my legs. I was shocked and didn’t know what to do. I moved my legs from left to right from right to left to get away from his legs but his legs always followed.
When I told this story a (male) friend, he just said: “The guy probably thought, a pretty girl alone, looking sad (I am always looking a little pissed), maybe she doesn’t have a boyfriend.” So do I have to put a fake smile on my face to show pervert guys “I am happy and sexual supplied“?

And another guy said, “Some woman are looking so appealing that some man can’t hold back” I should understand it and maybe I was dressed to “slutty“ (even if I was, nobody has to touch me!!!). In this situation I was wearing jeans, sneakers and parka, it was cold outside!!!

One day (waiting for the tram – of course) a guy tried to touch me and I moved away from him. Then he stared at my legs, into my eyes, at my legs, into my eyes… licking his lips the whole time. What was he trying to say? He is a cannibal and wants to eat my legs???

Several other times when I was walking down the street and men tried to talk me into their cars.

Several other times men came to me saying “(wanna) fuck?” And when I got angry saying “it was just a question, you can answer with no, take it as a compliment.”

For about 15 years I have to deal with it. I hoped it stopped when I get older but it doesn’t.

When my 55 year old co-worker was waiting for the tram (of course) and no other people were around, a guy (20 years) stared at her. Then he said, “You are good looking. Do you want to sleep with me?” When she arrived at work she was still shocked and shaking.

I hate it soooo much. I dont know how to stop it!!!

Oh wait, I should take it as a compliment…

– Anonymous

Location: Germany

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

2 Responses to “Most of the time the men don’t say anything, they just try to touch me”

  1. Thanks for sharing your stories and helping to raise awareness about this very real problem and how it impacts women’s lives.

    I hope from reading other stories on this blog you do realize you are not alone. Also, various studies show that at least 80% of women experience street harassment, most often when they are young. Yet, most of us don’t talk about it and have learned to try to live more restricted lives to avoid it. I am so sorry to hear about all of these cases of harassment and that people have dismissed it by saying it’s a compliment. That response – sadly – is very common. And it’s untrue. Street harassment is bullying.

    Harassment on public transportation is a huge problem. Have you considered reporting any of the harassers to transit workers? Here are other suggestions for what you could do: http://www.stopstreetharassment.com/strategies/index.htm

    Take care

  2. oh how horrible!

    Sadly I think if I add up all my harassments I would pretty much have the same story. You are not alone. This blog has helped me so much. I would report any further touching, groping or rude comments that happen on the tram at least there you have someone to report to. People have done that here in NYC and a few men have actually been caught. But stay safe that’s the most important! Thanks for having the courage to share all your stories. You have done NOTHING WRONG!!!!!

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