“When will it end? It’s wearing me out…”

I go to college in Maryland. I was born with what some would call a “gift”. I am thin, have thick, naturally bright blond hair, huge green eyes, and very large breasts. This is a recipe for disaster. I love myself and my body, but sometimes I find it hard to see myself as anything but a disposable object after the way I am treated.

I wear t shirts to class and stopped wearing makeup. Still, as I walk to class every single day I am verbally harassed. I’ll give an example from today. It was pretty warm today so I wore a jacket with a tank top underneath. For the most part the tank top covered up a lot. Since my chest is pretty big, however, tank tops are a nuisance and I have to pull them up sometimes. As I discreetly pulled it up a bit someone shouted, “PULL THAT BACK DOWN BABY THATS ALL WE WANT TO SEE” from a balcony above.

A few days ago, I was taking the trash to the dumpster. As I waked, a hispanic maintenance man stopped and asked me if I needed help because the bag was extremely heavy. I said thank you and handed him the bag and he hoisted it into the dumpster. His response: ‘YOUR WELCOME SEXY GIRL. MMMMMMM.” as he licked his lips. So I guess having him help me with my trash was a sexual proposition. GREAT.

I work in the mall. Last week I was handing out samples of cheese. I wish I had counted the countless men who referred to me as a “ho” when they thought I was out of earshot, whistled at me, or said “LOOK AT THEM TITTIES” after they had walked about 30 feet away from me.

I get dozens of sexually explicit messages from my fellow college students through social networking sites every weekend. Its funny, all of these men are so quick to say these DISGUSTING sexually explicit things, yet I havent been asked on a formal date in a year…

I’ll end with this. When I was a freshmen, 2 years ago, I went to the nearby supermarket. Some man and his friend approached me and asked me if I knew where batteries were. Before I knew it, one of them proceeded to attempt to “MOTORBOAT” me. I backed up just as his face touched my chest. The worst part was after the men quickly ran away, thinking it was the funniest thing in the world, people around me gave me disgusted looks. It was horrific.

I hope everyone finds their strength and can overcome street harassment. IT NEEDS TO STOP NOW!

– Lala

Location: Maryland

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

5 Responses to “When will it end? It’s wearing me out…”

  1. Golden Silence says:

    Its funny, all of these men are so quick to say these DISGUSTING sexually explicit things, yet I havent been asked on a formal date in a year…

    That quote hit a nerve with me. I am constantly approached by street harassers, with their lewd commentary, leering, and physical threats (if I don’t respond in a way they like), but I can’t remember the last time I was approached by a gentleman in a polite way. I have not been asked on one date since moving to the DC area years ago. It makes me question my worth—am I only good as a sexual object to ogle, as opposed to being a complex woman with feelings, thoughts and emotions? It’s aggravating.

    Lala, I am so sorry that these dumb college boys and men won’t leave you alone. College is supposed to be a time of fun and new experiences, not for street harassment! It makes me feel nauseous reading all of what you’ve been through. Sending my support to you online!

  2. **BrownEyedBeauty** says:

    Lala, I’m sorry…you’re not alone. No one deserves to be treated this way. At 26 years old, I’ve certainly experienced my share of harassment. I was raped at the age of 13. I have become slightly plump in the last year because I don’t feel safe to be out walking/running anymore. I used to be very slender, fit, healthy and active. I have simply had too many painful experiences with being bothered while in public. I’ve been trying to convince my husband to move.

    I can relate to what you are saying. However, I would like to caution you about social networking sites. If the harassment is online, as well as in real life, perhaps you should consider setting all your profiles to “private”.

    This way, only people whom you know and trust will be able to communicate with you.

    If I could, I would wear skirts on a daily basis. I would wear sexy, feminine clothes. Unfortunately, I live in a Southern state with a high number of sex offenders. I don’t wish to call attention to myself. My clothes tend to be a bit conservative because of the way people react to me. Most of the men (and some of the women) here tend to be openly hostile toward attractive women. You sound beautiful, but I doubt that it is strictly about the way you look.

    Men who engage in street harassment will harass ALL women…not simply blondes with big breasts. I’m petite, brown hair, brown eyes, 34B. Women of all types can be victims of harassment. They bother you because you are a pretty girl walking alone and you seem vulnerable. Please be careful. You never know what can happen. The world isn’t a safe place, especially for women and children.

    Golden Silence…NEVER doubt your worth. You deserve to be treated with respect.

  3. I’m so angered at each of your stories and experiences😦 and thank you for sharing them. they each bring up important points and help educate people about the complexities and ridiculousness of the problem of street harassment.

    One more thing i want to add is that while our appearances as individual women may mean men say certain things to us, at the end of the day, BrownEyedBeauty is right – men who harass women harass any and all women. In places like Yemen where most women are completely veiled in public, men still harass them. they don’t know what they look like, but they know the walking tents are women. so they harass them.

    All women deserve to be treated with respect and to have the same freedoms in public spaces as men. we will never have equality until that happens.

  4. Golden Silence says:

    Golden Silence…NEVER doubt your worth. You deserve to be treated with respect.

    Thank you for your encouraging words, BrownEyedBeauty!

  5. ginaray says:

    I too have gone through this and my heart goes out to you. It seems large breasts give men the right to harrass. Don’t know what book that came from! Unfortunately, for those women who are well endowed, it will never end. I’m fifty years old now, and it still hasn’t ended!

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