I was walking to the train one evening when a teenager on a bike rode up behind me and smacked my butt so hard he nearly knocked me over. I was stunned for a second – it really hurt! – then when he turned around to grin at me I just started yelling at him and chasing him. Everyone on the street stopped to stare at me like *I* was the crazy one, running after this guy and screaming, “Get back here, I’ll smack your ass, we’ll see how YOU like it!” and things to that effect, but who cares. The guy took off at top speed and probably thought twice before doing it again.